I’m just not cut out for this!

Last night I got stopped by the Police due to a “serious lack of illumination” on my car – it turned out that all of the lights down one side had gone! I found a rear light bulb in my car so I replaced that and I took out the side light bulb so I could see what I had to buy. To get it out you have to stick your hand through a hole in the wheel arch. Now without being sexist most car mechanics are “hairy arsed blokes” so why don’t car manufacturers build cars with holes “hairy arsed blokes” can get their hands through without scratching themselves to pieces?

Anyway I bought a bulb this morning and replaced the side light. This just left the big one! The headlight! When I first bought the car I looked in the manual to see how I would go about replacing the headlight bulb – it said “take it to your dealer!” It really is a pain in the arse to do which is why it took me so long to get round to it (as I explained to Plod last night).

So to cut a long story short – there I am with my hand jammed down between the battery and the headlight trying to get the clip for the back cover fastened (which incidentally once you put your hand in you can no longer see!) and suddenly I hear a tinkle! Removing my hand I see my wedding ring is no longer on my finger!

I can see it but I can’t get to it – it’s on a ledge under the battery. I get something to poke it with and suceed in pushing it further out of reach. I try every thing including jacking the car up to see if I can get it from underneath but without success. Suddenly I have a brain wave! Matt from the office he has quite long slender fingers! So I call him and thankfully he manages to retrieve it – phew!

I’m an artistic person for fucks sake, I’m quite good with electronic devices but I really shouldn’t be doing mechanical things!


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